


Next to you

by Tiaralie



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternative title: subaru has a gay panic, He just wants to sleep okay, Holding Hands, It's. kinda fluffy?, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sleepovers, This is set right after the Onibi event!, Wait I think I put a little angst in there, it's not major tho, that's it that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-11-02 00:12:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20556014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiaralie/pseuds/Tiaralie
Summary: Subaru can't sleep.He wants to, but he just can't.Everytime he closes his eyes, his mind just goes back to one thing, and one thing only.The boy next to him.





	Next to you

**Author's Note:**

> This was in my drafts under the name "soobs's gay panic" for months, so I finished it!  
Honestly I'm not too sure of what I was going for at the beginning? But hey I just liked the idea of Subaru being flustered when put in a very intimate situation.
> 
> (also HOLY SHIT Rockin Star chapter 8 is finally on the wiki. All hail the subakoga manifesto)

Subaru couldn't exactly sleep. It wasn't because something happening outside, the night being oddly calm. No, his troubles were, in fact, due to the person sleeping peacefully next to him. When he invited Koga (well, he kind of forced him) to have a sleepover with the dogs, he was expecting to fall asleep like a baby without problem. After all, sleepovers were always fun, exciting, and the idea of sleeping with good friends near you was reassuring! All the ingredients to a great night sleep were reunited! But after his friend came reluctantly into his bed, his mind kept on focusing on… _ Him_.

Subaru was awake, and he shouldn't be. All because he was so focused on the boy next to him, on his breathing, the way he was slowly inhaling and exhaling quite loudly. Why? Why couldn't he just focus on something else? Or just not focus on anything at all? Why was he always thinking if the possibility of their hands touching, holding tight and never letting go?

… He really needed to sleep, this was the only explanation. Why else would Koga show up in his mind at such an impromptu moment? Yes, all Subaru needed to do was burying himself under the covers and forget about the picture of the other boy that stayed in his mind no matter what.

But it stayed, no matter how much he tried to make it disappear. Looking at his ceiling, he was only faced with what looked to be the void, judging from the lack of any source of lightning. Subaru's grip tightened on the bed's covers. He felt his shoulder tense as the memory from earlier came back to him. Him, alone, without any light to indicate the way to go, without anyone to take his hand and guide him away from this dreadful void.

Subaru closed his eyes in a rush, trying to even out his breathing. _ It was okay. It was over now _. Plus, he didn't stay alone…someone came to his rescue.

_ Gami-san came to help me… _

He opened his eyes wide, repressing the memory from coming back. He was focusing on him again! Koga wasn't fair, invading his thoughts like that and keeping him from having a balanced sleep schedule…

As he desperately tried to empty his brain, he heard the covers moving and turned around instinctively, only to see that Koga moved an inch from where he was. His face still wasn't facing him, and in a way, Subaru was more than glad. He didn't know how he would react if their faced were suddenly so close. Still, he never realized it until now, but…his bed sure was small. Smaller than he initially thought. It _ was _ a one-person bed after all. He felt extremely close to his friend, maybe more than he had ever been. So close that is heart started beating unusually fast.

He had to accept the fact that he wasn't going to rest tonight.

Maybe he should have gone on the sofa or something, as far away from Koga as possible. But he didn't, and he both loved it and hated it. On one hand, he wasn't alone, and he liked being with Gami-san! But on the other hand, not being able to sleep was so annoying! All because he couldn't get Koga out of his mind, for whatever reason. But after all, if the gray-haired boy was the problem, maybe Subaru needed to set things off with him? At the same time, he seemed completely asleep and, knowing the wolf, waking him up was not a good idea. He could already see him yelling and threatening to "bite him to death" as he always said. 

Subaru's heart was still beating so fast he couldn't handle it anymore, and when his eyes scanned the bed with nothing but worry, he saw it. Koga’s hand. Right there in front of him, as to tempt him. Was it even okay? It was, right? Holding his hand, having physical contact would help him calm him down, right? It was dumb, stupid, nothing but an excuse to finally do something instead of freaking out and having an insomnia crisis.

It was the first time he ever reacted like that to anything, it didn't feel right.

In a normal situation, he would have just took his hand without thinking more about it. But now, the context was much more intimate, and he felt like every decision mattered.

Shyly, trying to focus his gaze on what was visible in front of him, Subaru brushed his hand over Koga’s arm and drew a straight line until his fingers reached the other boy's. He shivered. His heart wasn't going to make it.

Taking a deep breath, Subaru took his friend's hand in his and squeezed it, making sure not to do it too hard. It was warm, very warm. He expected it to be awfully cold, since Koga was kind of a cold person. The boy giggled, it was a really simple statement, but what else to expect from him?

Would it be okay to fall asleep like this, with their hands intertwined? Would they still be holding hands in the morning, like…like lovers? Subaru sensed his cheeks warming up at the word. Lovers. It felt sweet, he liked the way it sounded in his mind. _ Lovers _ . He loved it. Being lovers with Koga. With his _ Gami-san_. 

Subaru felt his vision blur out, and now it was finally time to sleep. While holding Koga’s hand. While being happy, while having his heart beating faster than ever, while wanting to stay like this forever. But it wasn't like he could tell Koga. Because he certainly wouldn't feel the same.

All he ever did was pushing him away. But not today, at the school…it felt different. It felt new. It felt like he finally started to accept their friendship.

Maybe Subaru couldn't totally be satisfied with that. Maybe he wanted more. But for now, he could do with it. There was no telling what was ahead of them, after all.

_ You'll see, Gami-san _ . He squeezed his hand a little tighter. _ I'll make you see how great I can be! _

Subaru stayed quiet, letting a yawn escape his lips. _ Good _ . That was the only word he had in mind now. Because he simply felt _ good _ now. He couldn't express it otherwise.

It was simple. But it filled him with warmth.

Closing his eyes, for good this time, he wondered if he would always feel this good around Koga.

Somehow it seemed like he already knew the answer.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! Thanks for reading! It's been a while since I've put something here, but I hope it wasn't too bad^^  
Also lemme plug my Twitter (@TiaralieLilac), I make bad subakoga art and shitposts.


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